How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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