well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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