i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
