i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize