hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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