why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize