Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
