Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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