dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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