I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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