we're blogging at a bar
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Mom said you looked used
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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