just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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