Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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