Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
