I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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