Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
