It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
