At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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