bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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