sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i came on her dog
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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