At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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