Define "chronic" masturbator.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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