At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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