i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I have feelings that need drinking.
this hospital has no fireball
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
