WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
two words...techno handjob
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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