im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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