Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
