You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
