i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
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I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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