lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
