come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
