If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
