Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
