don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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