I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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