Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
