I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
