he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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