I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
