is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
