So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
