and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize