i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
