I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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