i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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