Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.

(1-214): View more from Texas

we're not divorced.

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(214): your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything. (1-214): we're not divorced. http://tfl.nu/1yaa

Replies (12) Good night (989) Bad night (3267)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.

(317): View more from Indiana

And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt

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(317): I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening. (317): And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt http://tfl.nu/9n2q

Replies (13) Good night (2154) Bad night (565)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.

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(609): i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/thtn

Replies (30) Good night (8150) Bad night (1331)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop

(551): View more from New Jersey

I really wish I could say this is a new low for you

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(201): Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop (551): I really wish I could say this is a new low for you http://tfl.nu/0p1x

Replies (11) Good night (998) Bad night (3956)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.

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(270): I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/gibq

Replies (12) Good night (1287) Bad night (5053)
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(815): View more from Illinois

It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.

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(815): It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing. http://tfl.nu/i0rl

Replies (20) Good night (8432) Bad night (1138)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco

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(847): Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco http://tfl.nu/zw9u

Replies (18) Good night (3229) Bad night (1505)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?

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(250): You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you? http://tfl.nu/8g3a

Replies (9) Good night (2782) Bad night (1123)
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(941): View more from Florida

Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.

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(941): Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us. http://tfl.nu/wjn1

Replies (9) Good night (4480) Bad night (1064)
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(716): View more from New York

When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.

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(716): When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex. http://tfl.nu/mu23

Replies (14) Good night (3890) Bad night (1114)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.

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(617): Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules. http://tfl.nu/6l2w

Replies (21) Good night (3284) Bad night (842)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Last time i carry you out of a forest

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(262): Last time i carry you out of a forest http://tfl.nu/h410

Replies (8) Good night (1016) Bad night (535)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.

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(785): Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/uwxb

Replies (12) Good night (703) Bad night (1610)
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(858): View more from California

I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail

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(858): I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail http://tfl.nu/x9sf

Replies (2) Good night (1032) Bad night (428)
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(480): View more from Arizona

You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it

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(480): You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it http://tfl.nu/17sa

Replies (3) Good night (834) Bad night (376)

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