Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.

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  (408): I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller. http://tfl.nu/ndfu
  Replies (13) Good night (781) Bad night (3804)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack

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  (540): then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack http://tfl.nu/52qh
  Replies (14) Good night (1651) Bad night (3357)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.

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  (856): He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college. http://tfl.nu/khqs
  Replies (6) Good night (1052) Bad night (5950)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...

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  (319): just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa... http://tfl.nu/k3oe
  Replies (29) Good night (5507) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.

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  (276): Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco. http://tfl.nu/65bb
  Replies (3) Good night (774) Bad night (1640)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now

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  (954): The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now http://tfl.nu/qowj
  Replies (10) Good night (3645) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'

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  (701): the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.' http://tfl.nu/nfi4
  Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (1557)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive

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  (609): Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive http://tfl.nu/ad0s
  Replies (0) Good night (1140) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.

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  (920): I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine. http://tfl.nu/elnb
  Replies (3) Good night (956) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.

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  (209): We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela. http://tfl.nu/h3z9
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...

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  (307): The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories... http://tfl.nu/532k
  Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.

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  (587): I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast. http://tfl.nu/t2q0
  Replies (6) Good night (728) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"

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  (316): You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!" http://tfl.nu/ag1e
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.

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  (916): Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again. http://tfl.nu/kdlw
  Replies (0) Good night (1144) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's

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  (775): It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's http://tfl.nu/5kzf
  Replies (1) Good night (178) Bad night (526)

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