sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles