i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after