So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
