Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.