My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
