can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
