'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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