when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he shaved USA in his pubs
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
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You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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