A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
