my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
