i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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