I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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