i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
