I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
we're making bets on your personal life
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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