i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
