you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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