i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
