Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
