I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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