You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
