Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
