3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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